>An Open Letter to All My Friends

>Some of you readers may have gotten this message (actually, all three of you probably did). But, because I am lazy, I am just reposting it here in its entirety. Dig it:

Hello Friends!

I realize bulk mailings are kind of lame; those of you who haven’t heard from me for a while are probably feeling particularly offended. I deserve whatever ire you may feel in being spammed in this fashion, as I am well aware I am not a particularly good correspondent. I’m sure we will all get over it, though, trust me. In fact, I would offer anecdotal evidence to each of you that I am well aware of what our connection is, but my motivation in not doing so is more because I don’t want anyone among you to know just how short the list is of potential friends I have to call on at a time like this.

The point of this message is to remind you that this Thursday, February 14th, is, indeed, Valentine’s Day. Besides that being the day I predicted to my family that our neighbors will finally take the plastic, light-up nativity scene out of their yard, it is also a day of some importance in the world of independent-minded, live-on-the-edge-of-financial-ruin world of DIY rock and roll.

Here is the deal: my long-toothed heavy rock band, LAZERWOLFS, is playing the Pabst Blue Ribbon Performance Series battle of the bands thing (that they say isn’t actually a battle of the bands, wink-wink-nudge-nudge) Thursday night. Which is, as we’ve already discussed, Valentine’s Day. The way this works is six bands play and two advance to the finals on March 6th. Our evening this week is the third preliminary round. We don’t have any real delusions of winning the whole thing (my bets are on The Good Neighbor Policy, if I got their name right); we just do it for the opportunity to play for people who normally wouldn’t come out to one of our shows. Yeah, ego demands that we want to advance, but it’s more than that. I’m the guy who books our shows, and I’m generally lazy. We try and play once per month or so; if we advance, that means I have March covered and don’t really have to mess with trying to get a different show. See, when it comes down to it it really is all about my comfort. I also want to avoid last year’s debacle, where we destroyed the room like the devil’s very house band but didn’t advance. The common theme of that evening was drunken folks approaching us after saying, “Whoa! You guys rocked! You were TOTALLY the best band tonight! Uh, I didn’t vote for you because my buddy is in [insert other band name], but you ROCKED!”

By now you are on the edge of your seat wondering just what you can do to help. If you would come down to The Other Side on Thursday night, some time after 8:00, you will get a ballot and you can vote for us. It costs $6 to get in ($8 if you are 18 – 20), but they have a free keg of beer until it runs out, so you should be able to drink up the cover in no time. If you want to come down but are really strapped, I can arrange for you to be on the guest list as well. We have a few spots, and I will happily bump one of the other guys’ list requests just so I can gloat over how I brought in the most people on our behalf.

Still need convincing? Well, check the edition of The Independent that is coming out on the 14th, as it will have a feature on the LAZERWOLFS. I am quite certain that the quality of writing, the magnificence of the photography, and the compelling nature of the subject will be more than enough to make you ultimately decide that you don’t want to miss this event. The nature of our drummer’s relationship with the powers of law and order make every show potentially our last one, so don’t be one of those dismayed people, fallen to your knees and crying to the heavens, “Oh, I shoulda gone!”

I attached the actual flyer. I realize we are playing kind of late, and many of you won’t want to stay out so long. No big deal, we are like politicians — we just care about your vote. Come in, say hello, watch one of the other bands (I’m particularly eager to see Black Velvet Elvis; in fact, given their popularity, they will probably trounce us; it is quite likely though that we will turn their singer’s hair from blonde to brunette just with sheer, overwhelming volume), drink a beer or two, and leave if you must. After voting for us, of course. You may see the list of bands and realize someone you like better than me is in one of the other bands (I won’t feign modesty here — I guarantee this other person’s band isn’t better than the ‘wolfs dreadnaught). That is fine, I’ll make sure and not tell them you actually voted for us instead. I guarantee all the other bands have a much easier time getting shows in this town than we do.

So yeah, there is my big pitch. I hope to see a couple of you out on Thursday! Thanks for your time!

Bearer of the Lazerwolfs Flame

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