Remember when the buffed-out dickhead teacher in high school used to strut through the cafeteria and there would always be one or two wiseacres following a short distance behind him, mocking his “I’m a badass” strut with exaggerated body language? That’s what I always think of when I see these dipshit cops all duded up in their “wear-them-once-because-we’re-too-fat-to-wear-them-after-the-years-that-will-pass-before-we-will-need-them-again” SuperCop Riot Outfits. I mean, get a load of this video that just surfaced from a story out of Minneapolis:
Fuck the Man. I mean, these guys are in Minneapolis. At a park full of people just chilling. What a bunch of knuckledraggers. Recreate ’68, my ass. These guys are so itchy to beat people it’s almost comical if it weren’t so serious. Pathetic. It reminded me of the scene in Stripes where Bill Murray is trying to inspire his crew to go after the soldiers that were captured while looking for them. “We’re not going to Moscow, it’s Czechoslovakia! It’s like going to Wisconsin!” The idea being, of course, that the destination isn’t exactly a hotbed of violence and turmoil.
I tried to find a video of that scene in the movie, but YouTube, those slackers, didn’t have it.
Which brings me to a testimonial describing utter disappointment.
The Big Lebowski
Okay, I’ve heard for years from certain people how great this movie is, but I’d never seen it. Finally watched this last night. What a letdown. I chuckled a couple times, but for the most part I found it insufferably lame. That’s right, I said it: L-A-M-E. In fact, if I didn’t like some of the actors so much I probably would have turned it off midway through (if not also for the fact I was hoping for a scene with Julianne Moore naked or something).
I managed a couple chuckles here and there, but most of it just seemed stupid to me. The dialog was particularly lame, with most of the jokes just being used over and over again (stuttering, roundabout answers to every question; “shut the fuck up!” every time Buscemi’s character opened his mouth, etc.). That and I hate the term “dude.” Hate it when people use it to begin and end every sentence. Hate to be called “dude” (or “bro” or “brah” or any of that). I’m more likely to use, and much prefer, “man.” But you can’t have a character calling himself “The Man” or he would have to be a dick (see above).
Whatever. I didn’t dig it. At all. Julia says it’s a second tier Coen Brothers movie. I’d put it in the lower end of that, maybe all the way into the third tier. Maybe I was too grouchy. Maybe I’ve always found the “lovable stoner/slacker” archetype to be loathesome. Habitual, deadbeat stoners are my second least favorite people, barely higher on the chart than habitual, deadbeat drunks. Julia and I wondered about this archetype afterward, and she suggested that perhaps he is a modern take on the trickster. It’s possible, but if so it misses the mark. I have always identified with trickster archetypes, or the Fool in tarot, but this particular one does nothing for me. I’d hoped he’d end up dead and rolled up in his carpet by movie’s end. Now THAT would have been proper Coen Brothers.
So I’m probably losing some cred by despising this movie. I guess it will be my burden. I’ll take Stripes any day.
Since I would hate for anyone to think I’m cranky, I’m going to close by revealing something new that I like, against all odds even. I’m speaking, of course, of the new Metallica album.
Despite having a truly awful title, and a cover that is also pretty bad, I’ve found myself really digging on this album. I’ve always liked the band, but never been one of those rabid fans (first time I heard them was some guy blasting them over a boombox while we were waiting in line to see KISS and Queensryche at the Seattle Center Arena circa about 1986 or so). Even the albums that people hate I tend to think are pretty solid offerings of heavy rock. No, they haven’t matched their early material, but few bands do. I’m also not one of those people who gets pissed off if a band doesn’t keep putting out the same record year after year; I like a band to experiment once in a while, for better or worse.
This album has really grown on me. The sound quality is good, the songs are good (though a couple could use some editing in their arrangements), and I like it. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. Dude.