>You would think that, because I make the bulk of my living in essentially a technical/computery capacity, that I would be one of those people that geeks out over the latest technology and gadgets and all that. Yeah, and you’d be freakin’ wrong too. I hate computers with a passion, even as I am clattering away on one right now. As tools, they are okay — I’m not a big fan of toilet plungers either, but they have their uses, you know? That’s about where I rank computers in how much I love them. With plungers. I don’t enjoy using one, but for some necessary tasks it’s just the only way to get the goddamn job done.
The thing about plungers is they are simple. They don’t get upgraded and “improved” every twenty minutes. They’ve been forcing shit down drainpipes the same way for who knows how long, and they actually work. For day to day jobs, they are more than adequate 99% of the time. And I’ve never had anyone call me and say, “I don’t know how to use my plunger!”
Computers are the opposite. Every update and upgrade just piles on more problems for every little thing that gets fixed. And don’t go giving me any of this “Well if you used a Mac you wouldn’t have any problems!” bullshit either, because I use both PCs and Macs and they both aggravate me.
“Want to use software brand ABC? You don’t have Mac OS version blah blah blah? Oh, sorry, you’ll need to upgrade. And the new version doesn’t work with any of your other shit, so you’ll need to buy all of that stuff new too. Oh, and you didn’t really need the 50,000 pictures you had stored that were lost in the upgrade, did you? Oh, sorry.”
Sound familiar, Mac users? Yeah, you know it does.
Now I hear the Linux crowd coming too. You dorks just stay in your basements, okay? Don’t get me started. If I wanted to learn a whole language just to run a program I’d learn Spanish and go disappear in the middle of Mexico and forget all about the fucking things.
Right now I’d like to disappear this laptop I’m working on. It has been giving me fits lately, and for everything I correct two other things pop up. For example, starting a couple days ago I lost the ability to upload anything if I am using Firefox. That means pictures in this blog, email attachments, etc. I can’t even save a post in Blogger using Firefox. So in order to perform any of these simple processes, I have to switch over to Internet Explorer, which I find to be pretty much the ultimate piece of shit. Just loading it shows me this lovely little graphic:
This blog post is showing the ways in which doing the same task in one browser is different in another, and it is irritating me. For example, I’m learning that in IE I apparently can’t cut and paste in this goddamn blogger window. WTF?! And the formatting? Horrible! What a nightmare. Stinkin’ Microsoft. . . .
Oh, and either in IE or Firefox right now if I Google something, or even use Yahoo’s search option, when I click a link some other program takes over and gives me a whole bunch of other links. I’ve run antivirus, checked for Malware and all that shit, defragged, et al and still it’s flailing.
So yeah, I hate computers with a passion. And software. I swear, the older I get, the more my inner luddite wars with my inner misanthrope to dominate my personality. Today the luddite is winning.
We are going to do a little all ages show with AMERICAN FALCON at the Higgins Hall on Friday, February 5th. Sid’s band is playing, and they asked if we wanted to play with them, so we said sure. Consider it a sneak preview. I don’t know that those guys are really that eager to play with us, they are just eager to use our PA. I know what they’re all about.
We have been trying to record some rough tracks of the new stuff we are working on at the last couple practices, but, you guessed it, the computer Jimmy is using keeps failing. Not that there is a place for computers in rock n’ roll, in my opinion, but it was something convenient. Supposedly. All we are trying to do is get the stuff down so we can listen to it for purposes of having something to listen to for writing lyrics, evaluating arrangements, etc. Next week I’m going to bring my boombox or something. I followed that process back in the day to the tune of writing probably hundreds of songs. I’m sure it will still work.
Funny, my phone rang and I just went and grabbed it to check the voice mail. It was Jimmy. I shit you not, among other things, this is what he said:
“I think I got the computer fixed . . . again . . . but my confidence level is pretty low. I’ll do some more testing.”
I know you thought I was kidding! The things are tools of the devil, mark my words!
How Much Can One Man Take?
I was gonna blog other stuff, but I tell you . . . right now I think I’ve had my fill. This thing is just killing me.