>I’ve Never Been Irish

>I have never really gotten St. Patrick’s Day, or why I should even care about it. As a religious holiday, I’m neither Catholic nor Christian (I think I was actually baptized Catholic as a baby, but since I wasn’t part of the decision — I believe I was told we were just going swimming — I’m considering it void) so I don’t really care about that aspect at all. Even if I think all the wacky Saints and such in the Catholic pantheon are kind of cool. I’m not Irish, so the secular part — a celebration of Ireland in general — really means nothing to me either. And as an American Indian, the notion of celebrating a guy whose biggest claim to fame was rolling into an existing culture and converting it to something else is an idea repugnant to me. My status as a card carrying tree hugging dirt worshiper also resents the whole “driving the snakes from Ireland” metaphor as it relates to driving out the old religions. To that end, I’d like to offer the following rebuttal:

Hey, Pat — Suck it!

For most of the people I know that pay attention to it at all it’s just another reason to get drunk and be stupid. I can live without that. I did happen to be in Chicago two years in a row on St. Patrick’s Day, and the ribaldry that abounded was amusing to watch. So was the topless girl grinding against the window of an upstairs dance club across the street from the bar we were standing out front of. I was with a couple country boys from the Mission Valley on that trip, and they couldn’t believe their eyes. “Can you see that? I can’t believe what she’s doing? Can you believe what she’s doing?!” Ah, the big city.

Speaking of religious imagery, I saw this one online and thought it was pretty cool. Another stab at the conventions of the church, which I’m always a fan of. Apples? A snake? Female nekkidness? What’s not to love?

Sure, it would be better if she and her dirty accomplices were floating in a pond or something instead of a swimming pool, but I can live with it.

So I won’t be celebrating tonight, thank you, but I’m happy to keep a sense of humor about it all. If you’re Irish, by all means live it up. If you’re Catholic, have at it. If you’re neither, just try not to be too much of an asshole, okay?

6 thoughts on “>I’ve Never Been Irish

  1. Joanne Elliott

    >My husband's of Irish descent and I'm am too, probably (I know I'm Scottish). We don't think much of St. Patrick either, since we too are pagans of sorts. But my hubby will probably enjoy a Guiness and me…well if anyone was making it, I'd have some shepards pie and we'll toast the Earth and the Goddess and all that's green. Happy Spring Equinox on Saturday!P.S. Love the Goddess pics!

  2. Chris

    >Thanks, Joanne. I thought about drinking a Guinness myself, but couldn't find a single and don't think I like it enough to get a whole sixer, so I settled for polishing off the growler of Powder Hound I had in the fridge instead. Happy Spring to you too!

  3. Paul D. Brazill

    >St Patrick wasn't Irish either. He was born- a pagan- in either Wales or Cumbria and kidnapped by the Irish as a child and made a slave. There is no record of him ever being made a Saint. Early marketing,eh?I had a bottle of Czech stout last night cos I'm not Irish, a Catholic or a Saint-just like Patrick!

  4. Chris

    >Paul, I actually made it over to the Czech Republic a few years ago, and have fond memories of knocking back my share of the local beers. Got an earful about how our version of Budweiser is not the real Budweiser too. I'd love to make it back!

  5. Julie

    >Part Irish, raised Catholic, gave that up ages ago, and laughed my ass off over this.I celebrate these days simply as an acknowledgement of heritage.This was great.


Leave a Reply