>Jackass Gets What’s Coming to Him

>This is a video from the Republican convention in Minneapolis. This guy is such a smug asshole, just looking at him makes me want to punch him in the face. What a dick. Watch the video; as much of a jackass as this guy is, you’ll ultimately feel better — trust me.


Ah, but he gets what he has coming to him. In a story that was first reported in the St. Paul Pioneer Press under the headline “GOP delegate’s hotel tryst goes bad when he wakes up with $120,000 missing,” it was picked up and reported under the even more awesome headline “GOP Delegate Robbed Blind By Sexy Hero Gal” by Wonkette. Here’s a taste:

Anyway: A wonderful lady picked him up at a bar, and she went to his hotel room, and she slipped him a mickey. When he woke up, his entire ridiculous jewel-encrusted ultra-tacky wardrobe was stolen — “$120,000 in money, jewelry and other belongings,” according to the Pioneer Press. Ha, it costs $120,000 to look like that? Who knew!

It was the night of Sarah Palin’s big dumb speech at the RNC. This guy, Gabriel Schwartz — “a single attorney and a fixture in Colorado Republican politics,” according to the Pioneer Press — was staying in Minneapolis at the fancy Hotel Ivy. He reportedly took this girl back to his $319-per-night room and she told him to get undressed while she made the drinks. This is a wonderful scene from some James M. Cain book, but rather than wearing a salesman’s suit, the mark is dressed like some castout from the Village People or the Stray Cats or god knows what.

I love stories like this — you should read both.

In the Aftermath

So Hurricane Ike really dropped the hammer on Galveston, among other places. From what I’ve read, the death toll — which has been surprisingly low, considering — is expected to rise as they dig a little deeper. Obviously the body count and economic toll won’t be fully figured out for some time yet. I feel bad for the people who live there and have lost everything they own.

At the same time, there is a lot I don’t understand. I would think people might have learned their lesson from Katrina about riding out a hurricane. I know the lessened impact of Gustav probably didn’t help, but when the weather service issues a warning that warns of ‘certain death in face of Ike’ you would think people would get the picture. I could be wrong, but from what I’ve read the evacuation procedure was halfway decent this time around (unlike Katrina), so people who remained at home were merely being willful. Which is fine, but when the shit hits the fan, don’t start whining for rescue and bitching about not getting much for relief right out of the gate. And I’ve read a lot of testimonials of people bitching. Yeah, FEMA still really sucks. But what about some personal responsibility here, eh? Instead of dealing with the aftermath, how many resources are being diverted to rescue people who thought they were too badass to ever need rescue?

It makes it all the more clear how unprepared Americans are for pretty much anything. Look, if you are someone on the poverty line or below, that’s one thing. But there are plenty of people with boats and beachfront 2nd (or 3rd) homes that are now griping. If you have the means, what about a little preparation? How about some cached water, maybe some emergency food supply (thanks to April for showing me that link some months ago)? We don’t all have to become bunker-building survival nuts, but is it really necessary for us to position ourselves to whine to the government any time something bad happens? If a hurricane happens where hurricanes always happen, is that the government’s fault? It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I’m all for government helping out, but if you turn down that help on the front end (i.e. ignoring warnings to evacuate and ignoring their offers to help you do so), then I think you’ve kind of put yourself out in fend-for-yourself land.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe government has a role to play in reacting to these events. Katrina was a travesty, and I’m all for helping out. But the family sitting in a gas line in their Excursion griping about having to wait for gas and not having any food kinda rubs me the wrong way. Especially in a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” state like Texas, which is red as a baboon’s butt.

Oh well. The Fed managed to pull a few billion dollars out of their ass to bail out AIG. Maybe there are a few more dollars up there to help out our Southern coastline. It certainly wouldn’t hurt if we weren’t already funneling so much friggin’ money out of our federal colon to keep killing people in Iraq, though. Jesus. What is wrong with these people?

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