>We Will Swarm You, You Will Die

>I had yesterday off, so I decided to tackle a couple things around the house. I mowed the lawn first thing before it got too hot, and it was just a beautiful morning. After I handled the front, I took a couple shots of the container garden we planted this year. We made a few mistakes, but I love walking by it every time I go in and out of the house.

In the backyard, the apples still have a way to go, though.

Looking at this sign on our back porch (which, thanks to the goddamn dogs, you don’t have to stretch your imagination too far to understand why we refer to it as the “poop deck”), you may wonder what it means:

It’s because coming through the front door, this is what you will be faced with (the 4th little beast had already popped outside to see what was going on while I was readying the camera; it was garbage day, so she was making sure that big truck stayed the hell away):

After messing around in the front, I mowed the backyard. A couple weeks ago, Julia was commenting on how big the hornets’ nest in one of the bushes was getting. I didn’t note it at the time, and had long forgotten about it by yesterday. I finally made its acquaintance when I banged the mower off the bush the damn thing is occupying, though.

So one moment I’m blissfully mowing away, thinking my pure thoughts (you know, the usual things like unicorns, Jesus, rainbows and [other people’s] puppies), and the next I’m in a cloud of buzzing, stinging insects.

I’m sure the video, if it existed, would be hilarious. I was careening around the yard, swatting and cursing a blue streak, with the dogs chasing around with me — barking, getting underfoot and popping wheelies — wondering why it was suddenly play time but goddamn if the weren’t going to participate. I got off pretty light; I think I was only stung 5 or 6 times (on the arms, the leg, and one in my freakin’ beard) and since my heroic immune system fought off the deadly venom I didn’t even get all swelled up.

Still, it was one of those events I would have preferred to experience anecdotaly.

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